Almost Definitely Not About Love (Bonus Track Version)

by Patrick Belanger

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about

Throughout the process of trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life, I've written several songs along the way. Some are about sadness, others are about happiness, and for some, it's kind of hard to say.

Regardless of the meaning behind the songs, I hope you enjoy the album! A lot of time and a lot of heart has gone into it.


If you'd rather not support me, the regular album is available for free download. (Though, truly, just knowing people care and are downloading the album is wonderful.)

If you're buying this one, thanks! It's much appreciated!

credits

released August 23, 2014

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about

Patrick Belanger

My name is Patrick Belanger.

I have been producing music using Garageband since I knew how to click and drag loops.

Of course, I no longer use pre-made loops, but it was a good start. I am currently using Logic Pro, though Garageband will always hold a special place in my heart.

My music is slightly electronic in nature, though I still don't quite know how to define it.

I hope you enjoy!
... more

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Track Name: To Go Away
I just wanted to say I'm sorry, but I need to go away
The night is closing in upon the bright day
And I'm getting tired of standing up
And I'm getting tired of lying down

I'm afraid what I am about to do must be done
And I'm sorry if you just can't understand why I can't see the sun as it is to you

So stop holding on (don't let me go)
For tomorrow I will be gone (I don't want to leave)
Stop showing me your love (I need to be loved)
I have had enough

So jump,
Pull the trigger,
Isn’t this what you’ve been waiting for?
Take the whole bottle
Then a couple more
Just think of the joy you will feel when you hit the floor

But no,
Something doesn’t feel right,
It’s almost as if you still don’t want to give up this fight
You say don’t be a quitter,
But it works in both ways,
And your friends say they love you, but a red X is on every display

I need to go away (I need to stay here)
Away (I need to stay here)
Away (I need to stay here)
Away (I need to stay here)

Stop holding on,
The love is gone,
All now is pain,
Nothing left to gain

I’ve fallen down six-thousand times, but this time there I’ll stay,
I’m sorry that I’ve said I’m fine when I’ve been far from okay,

I have been falling apart for so long,
I’m tired of being strong

Maybe I’ll wait just one more day,
Tomorrow (tomorrow might be better), I’ll go away.
Track Name: Facade
No more speaking now, I have had enough
Of your feelings pouring down, you think that your life is so tough
I'm telling you we all have problems,
You're not the only one
The rest of us all learned to suck it up,
So why haven't you begun?

Please don't show me your emotions,
Put back on your facade
I find it alarming your strange devotion
To reality when through this plastic world we trod
It's getting far too out of hand
And I don't think you quite understand

Walking through life a sad video,
I feel pretty much indifferent
And like some young inventive kid we go
Play make-believe, yes I'd say I'm quite proficient
At putting on all my masks one by one,
At crying inside when they think I'm having fun
And the saddest part is I don't know if I'm sad,
I got rid of all those feelings that I once had

Please don't show me your emotions,
Put back on your facade
I find it alarming your strange devotion
To reality when through this plastic world we trod
It's getting far too out of hand
I don't think you quite understand

That all of us are broken here,
But we all keep it bottled up inside,
'Cuz when there's something that you fear,
It's only natural to hide

So hide, hide, hide, hide yourself from the world

Please don't put on your facade, I don't think I can take
Another one of these dang lies, it's just ourselves we break
Track Name: Bright Eyes of Blue
I woke up in the arms of a girl,
And I swear the sunlight's never shone brighter in this world
I woke up held by the one who I love,
Oh, it was just like all the wishes I'd made on the million stars up above.

And then she knows I'm awake,
And then she's waking up too,
And then she opens her eyes,
That striking waterfall blue,
And then I'm struck by the joy
Of being here together,
Just me and you

I believe that we've only just begun,
And your arms will keep me warm long after the clouds block out the sun,
I believe that when you wake up to what you hoped in your dreams,
We must be doing something right despite how crazy this world sometimes seems.

And then comes slowly a smile
From her to me and it's true,
I open my mouth to speak,
But none of my words will do,
There are no words to describe
The way you're making me feel here,
right out of the blue.

There's a big scary society confusing in me what is right and wrong,
And though I'll shake and I will shiver, I'll continue to be strong.
I won't give in, I will not fold.
I will be brave, I will be bold,
Because you're here for me to hold.

I woke up, and I'm glad that I'm awake,
Because as far as beautiful things go, this one really takes the cake.
I woke up, in love with the girl who loves me too,
And all the magic in the world is contained in those bright eyes of blue.
Track Name: Here
Mending all my wounds again,
Every time's the same.
Life is good and bright, and then,
I fall back in the game.

Sometimes I lose all my hope,
Yet still I carry on,
All of us can learn to cope,
We just need wait so long

Everything was ruined, and then the winds began to change,
Never knew I could feel this way, so wonderfully strange

And suddenly my heart is beating faster than before,
Echoes sound within my chest, and I'm completely sure,
Nowhere in the world, my dear, no, there's no place at all
That I'd rather be than here with you
Track Name: Being Lost
Darkness closes in, it's only you and me now, sharing this moment,
The world it falls away, waiting for another day to return
The stars are telling stories about dragons,
A fairy castle high above the trees,
And though normally I'd lose myself in these imagined worlds,
I can't because I'm so completely lost in my own thoughts.

My head's spinning around, I'm sure I'm standing on the ground,
Though I might as well be flying
I just cannot sort it out, all this confusion, all this doubt,
It's all I can do to keep from crying

I'm so afraid of telling you the way I think I feel,
What if it's not meant to be, what if it's not real?
My thoughts are scrambled in my head and I'm not sure what to do,
But in this world of hate and lies, there's one thing I know is true

I push my petty troubles to the sidelines,
I forget all of the things that I once knew,
'Cause when I look into your eyes and you look into mine,
I know that I am absolutely lost in you.
Track Name: Until The End
Still, calm, patient, waiting,
Certainly unsure,
Broken, fixed.

Thoughts, feeling,
Spinning, twirling,
Gathering compact.

Still, crawling, standing, walking,
Running, leaping, bounding, flying

Stable, steady.

Clear mind, open up the window,
Let in the sunshine, let in the breeze,
Easy don't try to hard now,
Scarred now, but you will heal
Soon.

Just feel the world throb through your veins,
Don't worry of the pains,
And slowly take down your defenses,
We have spent this
Life too much only protecting,
Afraid of what we're not expecting.

Now there's no time to waste,
Just open up your eyes and feel the taste,
Of the sweet sunlight on your skin,
Release yourself, oh don't be stin-
-gy with your emotions, oh don't you know it's been
Too long since you smiled so wide
That it started to hurt the sides of your mouth

Do it now, before it's too late,
It'll work somehow, just don't hesitate,
Trust the ground to catch your fall,
You gotta try your best or don't try at all

Life's too short for holding back,
If you wanna make your own path, you've got to get off the track,
Everything will fall into place,
So fly on with speed, with skill,
With grace.
Track Name: Just A Few More
Have you ever watched the floor dissolve beneath your own two feet?
Have all your troubled thoughts been resolved by a vivificated heartbeat?
Have you felt a gentle touch that took away the sad so much,
You thought that maybe you'd be happy forever, forever?

I wish I could say the same.

But maybe it just takes a while.
Maybe with each half-faked smile, the non-faked half will build,
And dear, I must tell you, I'm thrilled to be with you,
Even if I seem confused,
I've perused my thoughts
And they've taught me this.

That we won't get anywhere by standing still, we'll only rust,
That I won't fix my heart by thinking 'till my mind combusts

How 'bout we try just a couple more late nights,
Where all we do is smile,
Just a little more moonlight,
You know it never goes out of style

And maybe just a few more kisses,
The hits are so fantastic, who cares if there are misses,
Perhaps even touching each other (like holding hands!)
When this time is over, dive right back into another

Have you ever stood upon a steadily dissolving floor?
Have all your troubled thoughts been replaced by thoughts of someone else who always leaves you wanting more?
Have you felt a burning fire that blasted through the pain so bright,
You thought that maybe you'd be happy forever?

I think I can say the same.
Track Name: Bonus Track
Sleigh bells ring, are ya listenin'?
In the lane, snow is glistenin',
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight, walkin' in a winter wonderland

Gone away is the bluebird,
Here to stay is a new bird,
He sings a love song as we go along, walkin' in a winter wonderland

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that is Parson Brown
He'll say "Are you married?"
We'll say, "No, man,
But you can do the job when you're in town."

Later on, we'll conspire
As we dream by the fire,
To face unafraid, the plans that we made, walkin' in a winter wonder-

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that he's a circus clown,
We'll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman,
Until the other kiddies knock him down

When it snows, ain't it thrillin'?
Though your nose gets a chillin'
We'll frolic and play, the eskimo way,

Walkin' in a winter wonderland,
Walkin' in a winter wonderland